Dear, Henley June,
A dozen posts ago I began this blog as my accountability in sharing my favorite soul-shaping stories/advice with you. Yes-you: the child who has yet to exist. We have all been taught that those who wish to write well must have an audience and a deadline. You are my audience and the day we rush to the delivery room will be my deadline.
We have been trying for five months now. God has blessed me with an amazing friend and somewhat of a fertility specialist. She has been extremely helpful. With her guidance we have come to find out that I have low levels of progesterone. Apparently, this is very common amongst women who are driven; at least I have noticed this in the high-achieving women I admire. To naturally increase these levels, I am on a daily regiment of: four pills, one cream and a cup of fertility tea (yum). These remedies are giving my oily skin and over-dramatic soul a fabulous makeover. J
The process of trying to create a baby has simply left me in awe of how God made my body (our bodies). WOW! MIND-BLOWING! As I will share with you later, the road towards a positive self-image has been a long one for me. This procedure is teaching me so much. I am finally taking the time to truly listen and trust the rhythm of my body. I am reading books on fertility and (to sound like a completely lame mom-to-be) I can’t wait to share this stuff with you. I have already picked out a book for teen girls called Cycle Savvy. I think you will love it. I want you to love your body. From head to toes, heart to brain, I want you to be in awe of how your loving Creator put you together.
Just this week, as a twenty-seven-year-old married woman with two degrees and a secure career, I looked at myself in the mirror and for the first time said out loud with great conviction, “I love my body!” I love my 5’3 stature and massive curves. I love that I have put on weight with my added gym classes yet my inches have remained the same. I love my awkwardly long torso. I love my broad shoulders that I get from Mema. I love the definition in my legs from running. I love my strong jaw line and larger-than-life chin that I get from Pepa. I love feeling strong and energized. I should have been saying this years ago; especially because I have been a Weight Watcher leader for nearly two years now. Shhhhhhh.
As a recovering workaholic, I used to view my career as “my baby”. When I got married four years ago, we were taught in premarital counseling that, “Your marriage IS you first child. Treat it with great attention and nourishment.” Up ‘till recently, I have been treating both of these like my own children in a sense.
However, I would like to add a newly discovered child to the list, and that would be my body. It is a masterpiece that calls for GREAT care. Its fuel should be chosen with great caution. It is the vehicle that will carry me to the many dreams and goals ahead. It is the vessel of strength that will make these goals possible. It nurtures my mind and my soul. It is the greatest gift in the world (right next to your Dad and you). I am reading Cameron Diaz’s fabulous book, The Body Book; The Law of Hunger, The Science of Strength, and other Ways to Love Your Amazing Body.” and I simply could not be loving my body more than I do right now. Wow. That probably read much more egotistically than I intended.
How thankful I am that I have arrived (finally) at such a healthy place with my view of self BEFORE welcoming you into the world. Your childhood home will be one of healthy eating, positivity and a healthy balance of rest, work, and play. Even if you do not feel a desire to be athletic, we will present fun ways of being active. Though your father and I will make mistakes, you will never doubt your inner and outer beauty. (Not if we can help it! ) J
Until you arrive, I will continue pouring myself into my three other “babies”; my body (mind&soul), my marriage, and my career/calling. Their well-deserved nurturing will lead to a better life for you. Take your time, but don’t take too long. Your Dad and I can’t wait to meet you.