Something that slows down every writer is something we call ‘perfectionism’.
“Ideally, I’d like to get it done quicker, but I’m just a perfectionist.” I used to say. I would then await my pat on the back for having higher standards than others in the room. 😉
Maybe even in my imagination, this humblebrag would lead to an Allan Rickman-type in metal-mesh-armor knighting me for my utter commitment to the oxford comma.
“Hear ye, hear ye,” He would proclaim while raising his helmet, “We dub thee Meg, daughter of Dena, for her service as a perfectionist. Her fearless act of moving at a snail’s pace has enhanced our lives greatly. Our village will be forever grateful for the book that she never finished.” 😉
And as the iron of his blade hit my shoulders, I’d feel a punch in my gut. I knew what was really going on here. I wasn’t being a perfectionist because of my “admirably high standards”.
I was mislabeling my fear of rejection, my fear of being alone, as ‘perfectionism’. The book was never finished because I was too worried about impressing or appeasing others. In my mind, the book had to do the impossible and be something that would be enjoyed by ALL.
For as long as I can remember, I feared being alone. (I seriously just found a journal of mine from 2008, that said this.) I hated the thought of being left out, yet all of the words that wanted to come out of me when I perched at the keys were those that would not be likable by some as they rocked the boat too much.
If they didn’t like my book, this would mean that they would no longer like me. If they didn’t like me, they would leave me. If they left me, then I would be alone.
So I smiled, appeased everyone, and went along my way not writing the book. The crazy thing about ideas within though is that once we notice them and give them a lil’ bit of airtime, they get greedy and gradually get louder and louder. They want to be created so badly–especially if they are going to serve others.
And that’s exactly what happened. The boat-rocking book idea got too loud to ignore. It forced me to own my fear of loneliness in order to serve those I was called to serve well.
Amy Poehler has this great line, “Great people do things before they’re ready. They do things before they know they can do it. Doing what you’re afraid of, getting out of your comfort zone, taking risks like that — that’s what life is.”
I did something of which I was very afraid in order to serve others well. And while the boat-rocking book was rejected by some (very), it served some folks too and hit the Amazon Bestseller status. My fear of rejection has subsided because I’m now keenly aware of who I was made to serve, and their opinions of the books are all that matters. Best of all, I now get the joy of being a writing coach to amazing writers.
If you’ve been dreaming of writing a book, it would be my honor to partner with you.💜
With great accountability and creative direction, I can help you to crush this goal in six months or less, even if you’re afraid of what others will think, while still being a present parent and without the self-depleting regret of putting it off for another five-ten years.
If you’re ready to complete your book, click here and let’s explore what next step would be the most helpful, friend. ✌ I have 3 coaching spots left between now and the end of March so let’s get to it!