“God is not a vending machine. One should not pray to God from a place of selfish desire. Prayer is a 24/7 conversation in which I must enter.” These are sound bites from my inner monologue whenever I bow my head. However, these past six months of trying for a baby have left me turning the volume WAY down on these. I have been praying very selfishly-well at least ‘till about two months ago.
Like David praying for forgiveness (Psalm 51), Elijah praying for God to prove himself (1 Kings 18) and (the most relatable) Hannah praying for a child (1 Samuel) (Oh, and the commander Naaman who was given unexpected instructions for healing in 2 Kings 5.)-the Holy Spirit is constantly at work aligning our desires with God’s IF we allow this through prayer*. Most often this realigning takes place in unforeseen ways.
About two months ago my husband and I began to experience a divine tug on our hearts to adopt twelve-year-old twin girls. They have been involved in our Children and Family Ministry program for eight years now.
They have so much potential and their hearts are overflowing with love. They have been such a blessing to my husband and I. Things are going smoothly now, but we know the day might come when we need to go to court if the biological mom fails to comply next month.
My desire to be a mom (and get all sorts of domestic) this past year now makes sense. My desire to share my home-office with another now makes sense. Mine and my husband’s raises this year now make sense. It all makes sense. I am so thankful I married someone with a heart of gold and the gift of discernment to join me on this journey. Marriage is a ministry-to me, to him, but most importantly to others. This love that we share was not given to be horded. It was given to be shared.
Now, don’t get me wrong, we are still trying to have a lil’ one naturally. We are just tending to the needs of the kids that God gave us first. With that said, I felt it was time for me to give this blog a new name and a much broader theme.
*While these Biblical scenes all hold greater meanings in regards to God’s covenant with Israel, please allow me to simply focus on their lessons on prayerJ. Furthermore, please allow me to use ‘*’ in the place of footnotes; for I have not yet figured out how to utilize those on blog-spot.